The hurt hero's journey

December 2016

By Punya Srivatsava

Many, even outstanding achievers, have been driven by past hurts and slights. to prove themselves or avenge themselves against detractors. Punya Srivastava traces the trajectory of their journey and how they eventually return to wholeness.


 “Some people take disappointment and let it destroy them. Others take disappointment and let it drive them. And, you get to choose.”
– Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins’ quote may seem like the perfect recipe for success, but then again, perhaps not. It may well be that in allowing disappointment to drive us, the disappointment eventually transmutes into peace and contentment. It could also be that the disappointment does not get transmuted.
What then?

“A person operating from pain is full of stress, rage and egoism and therefore, despite a lot of achievements, he continues to be in a state of misery. The need to prove himself is so strong and never-ending that the happiness he gains from any achievement is short-lived,” says Delhi-based Dr Pulkit Sharma, clinical psychologist and founder of Imago – Centre for Self.


Anupam Srivastava: The need to prove his worth to his father was the driving force of his material success.Anupam Srivastava: The need to prove his worth to his father was the driving force of his material success.


Anupam Srivastava, who has successfully established his own foster care agency in Leicester, UK, admits that the need to prove his worth to himself and to his father was his driving force for a significant part of his adult life. He was labelled a good-for-nothing throughout his academic life by his father, and the constant rebukes and chastisements scarred the adolescent for years to come. “I grew up telling myself that I could do nothing in life. I had major self-confidence issues. I would immerse myself in work in order to prove my worth – to myself and to others. Amidst all this, I got an opportunity to visit a friend in the UK and somehow bagged a job there. My low self-confidence was my
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Comments [ 1 ]


I am not being able to deal with the hurt, pain and anger of a previous relationship. This person has reconnected after 26 years in 2015. I thought I was able to forgive and move on, but the wounds seem to have opened up. Just an apology would have made a difference I think.

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