Peace amidst Despair

Peace amidst Despair

October 2024

HEARTSPEAK 

Peace Amidst  Despair

In his hour of grief, as Rajeev Hallur connects with the Source of all peace  within him. He feels glad to have had the opportunity to discover his mettle 

There are landmark events in your life  that shape you and change you in ways  you can never imagine. Sometimes,  these events also reveal a new you, who hitherto  lay hidden beneath layers of superficial  knowledge and conditioning. This happened  to me in March 2015, in faraway Siberia. I  always thought of myself as timid till then, but  I discovered a strong steely me as some bizarre  events unfolded. 

I was to visit a client, an oil and gas  conglomerate, to sign a contract to begin our  first project in Russia. It made for an exciting  prospect as the project, although technically  familiar, was to be executed in totally alien  circumstances. As I was preparing for travel,  I recalled my first visit to Omsk in Siberia,  during the bone-chilling cold of December a  year before. This was before COVID, so the  concept of online meetings wasn’t so prevalent.  We had covered a lot of ground in a year, and a  few details had to be sewn up before we signed  the contract.  

A smooth travel 

I was relaxed as I boarded the flight to Abu  Dhabi, the first of the two stops before I was to  land in Omsk nearly 24 hours later. There was a  three-hour layover in Moscow before I boarded  my flight to the final destination—Omsk— 

during which I caught up with my family; this  kept me cheerful despite the long journey. The  flight landed on schedule in Omsk, and I was  pleasantly surprised to be welcomed by the  local representative, Nikolai. We drove straight  to the hotel and had a long chat as we planned  right up to the last detail of my agenda for the  next two days. Three hours later, after having  downed a couple of cappuccinos, I bid him  goodbye and retired to the comfort of my room. 

Lightening strikes 

It suddenly hit me how tired I was as I had  

a quick shower before hitting the bed. Then I  realised I hadn’t switched on my phone since  landing in Omsk. As I expectantly switched on my  phone, I was blissfully unaware of the shock and  grief that was to engulf me soon. The first thing  that popped up was a notification of seventeen  missed calls and a flurry of text messages. There  were messages such as “Call as quickly as you  can.” In the family WhatsApp group, the message  from my uncle that my father had passed away  that afternoon struck me like a thunderbolt.  

The next 15 minutes are a blur; I only recall  calling my wife and brother, and confirming  the heartbreaking news. I immediately called  Nikolai to check on the possibility of flying out  as fast as I could. Then came the second shock— there was no flight out of Omsk until the next  morning. There was grief, chaos, and a feeling of  sheer helplessness.

Heartspeak 15 

Courageously facing the truth 

I collapsed on the floor and cried my heart out.  I remembered all the good things and some  not-so-good ones too. Eventually, the emotions  subsided a bit, and I started getting a grip on  myself. I came face to face with the reality that  I was stuck in this alien place for the next ten  hours and that no amount of grieving was going  to help me. Sitting alone in that hotel room, with  no one to commiserate with me, would make it  even worse. This was the moment of truth for  me. Something deep inside prevailed upon me  to surrender to a faith that I had only tried to  intellectually understand before. Having come  all the way and nowhere to go, for now, I told  myself let’s make this count. 

Warrior spirit 

I called Nikolai and asked him to arrange a  meeting with his core team so that we could  discuss project execution. As resourceful as  ever, he quickly did so, and we drove straight to  his office. We had an intense meeting through  the night. Since the project was new to them,  I had to explain every bit in detail, and we  all emerged wiser by the time we finished the  meeting. At the stroke of dawn, I bid a tearful  goodbye to my Russian friends. 

Peace that passeth all understanding I am grateful to all those who made it possible  for me to fly home the next day. As I sat in  that airplane, I felt an amazing sense of peace  I hadn’t experienced before. Through the next  19 hours of the journey, I relived the best times  I had with my father. I had long conversations  with him about all the topics we avoided before.  Astonishingly, that was a moment of peace that  

passeth all understanding.  

As I walked into our home in Belgaum, I had  this strange calmness within me. I thought I  would break down upon meeting my mother,  but once I accepted the fact that my father was  gone, my grief was gone too! The first words  I spoke to my mother were “He always lived  life on his terms, and the best homage to him  will be to bid adieu to his mortal remains with  grace.”  

My father lived life king-size, and as the king  never dies, he lives on forever.

A CEO and devoted family man, deeply in love with life, Rajeev Hallur expresses his  devotion through habitual writing. His love for humanity fuels his belief in infinite human  goodness, which helps shape his life’s narrative.